Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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