I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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