it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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