Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My vagina just recognized that song.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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