dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Operation Purity has been aborted
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
