Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
