So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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