she was so not down for the gang bang
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize