we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
