I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
