I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize