Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
