woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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