I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
