I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
