So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
