He felt like a one man threesome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
