I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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