just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
