ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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