gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
do herpes really smell.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
