Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Life is so much better after having sex.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
