I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
