how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
