The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
