I want to stick my p in your. b.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
