now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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