be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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