dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
