so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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