Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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