you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
