You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
