Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
