she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
