Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
