gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
