Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
