Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
