Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
