i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
