You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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