I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
