you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
