Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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