I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
