So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
