I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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