how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
