My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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