i permit you to call me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
