TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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