New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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