Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
