Don't you send me to vm
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
