we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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