how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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