Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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