My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
