I want to walk on stilts...naked
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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