i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
