go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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