oh god the rape fog is back!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
