And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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