I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
